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Geek Mail

We get letters...from dipshits like you

Date: Thu, 2 Feb 95 00:43 CST
From: (Melvin Magazine)
Subject: GeekMail

I used to be a pure christian lad, then I read my
first issue of Melvin. Now I masturbate till I bleed,
all in the name of my Lord Satan.
Date: Thu, 2 Feb 95 00:29 CST
From: (Melvin Magazine)
Subject: GeekMail

My kind of bad attitude, kids. You're a bookmark,
definitely. Now do me a favor and don't get greedy
and let some Big Media Company buy you up just because 
you clearly know what you're doing and they don't. 

Date: Wed, 1 Feb 95 12:30 CST
From: (Melvin Magazine)
Subject: GeekMail

I have now found the appopriate cage liner for my
This wonderful wraping paper for the road-kill
on the information super high-way...


PS - When are you going to select one of my dozens of
entries and send me my fucking t-shirt?!?!?

Date: Sun, 26 Feb 95 16:02 CST
Subject: GeekMail

 Boy, what a disappointment.
Not only did the screen emissions fail to cure my facial tic
as advertised, but I got a nasty shock when I attempted to 
use the scratch-and-sniff portion of the paper. And where
the hell is Beetle Bailey, if you call youself a real paper!
Still, I may try it again, since I was able to use the clip-
out coupons to gain free admission to Disney's Hall of Great

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