dopeass, in-your-face, techno dance music known at times to transcend reality. Participants known as "ravers" are often inspired to get up and "shake their funky booties," and to consume plenty of mind-altering pychedelic drugs.
Thousands of Rwandans are joining rave enthusiasts from the far corners of Earth for the slamming dance marathon. The party will last for two weeks and feature artificial smoke, laser lights and nonstop dance action that could keep many Rwandans raving all night long. Other attractions include a wet and wild pool party and a spin-the-bottle tournament with french kissing.
The rave party will be held in several large "dance pits" located adjacent to Rwanda's border with Zaire. Trouble was averted earlier this week when hundreds of Rwandans discovered stacked in the pits (apparently either sleeping off the effects of brain-taxing "smart drugs" or simply snoozing out of sheer boredom due to the infrequency of Rwandan rave parties) were relocated without being awakened. The original purpose of the pits, other than as campgrounds for sleeping Rwandans, remains unknown, but festival-goers are expected to find them ideally suited for the "Underground Rave" theme of the party.
Enjoyable funky rave action will abound in the dance pits. Huge numbers of Rwandans will slam to the sound of such treasured rave hits as "Jump Up Muthafucka," "Get Up You Techno Muthafuckas," "Fuck You," "Rave Fuck Acid Robotz Jump Up," "Rave Muthafuckas," and "Roll a Spliff, Sit On My Rave Face Fuck Song." The DJ, RaveJunky-Trance-MixMaster MC Johhny B, will frequently encourage participants to dance until they collapse.
Organizers are swift to stress the global importance of the "Rave for Rwanda." "Rwanda is seen by the world as a nation rife with war, disease, and genocide," PRFR spokesperson Ziki St. Pierre explained. "The success of this festival will demonstrate that Rwanda is also a tropical Eden of beautiful beaches, exotic adventures, and affordable quality motels." According to St. Pierre, organizers chose a rave themed festival because such vaguely futuristic media event garner cover stories in fashionable magazines such as READER'S DIGEST and WIRED.
Judging by advance ticket sales, the rave is destined to be a tremendous success, with disaffected suburban teens from Europe, Asia and the United States purchasing over 12,000 tickets. Demand is so great for the high-priced tickets that organizers have announced plans to sell authentic Rwandan Rave-wear in Wal-Mart apparel departments across the nation. In addition, limited-edition rave T-shirts, caps and commemorative figurines will be sold exclusively at the dance itself. Tickets for the event are available at Ticketmaster(tm) and from local Rwandan Consulates.
