The adoption means certain upheaval for the Clinton clan, who plan to bond with their new family members with a series of family outings, father-son trips and dinner-table discussions. Gone will be the traditional stuffy state dinners, replaced by boot-stomping Southern hoe-downs. Likewise, trips to Camp David are a memory, with the First Family now planning weekend getaways to historic battlegrounds, madcap theme parks and cross-country roadtrips to Grandma's house. The Clintons also plan to host numerous bonfires and barbecues, the former featuring tall-tale contests in which the Clintons, Dole and Gingrich will try to outdo each other with fantastic campaign pledges.
Reaction to the adoption has been positive. While members of Congress wish Bobby and Newt well, they expressed reservations over whether President Clinton was tough enough to discipline the two boys. 'Newt is as mean as a sonofabitch. Bill's gonna have to learn to kick his ass once in a while to keep him in line,' Senator Jesse Helms stated. 'Dole, on the other hand, is as sweet and lovable as a newborn kitten.' Religious leaders have also offered support, expressing the hope that the Clinton's example will prompt others into adopting unwanted homeless waifs.
In the meantime, the newly-expanded Clinton family is quickly adapting to the new living arrangements. Newt and Bobby are settling in quickly, spending their days rough-housing with Hillary, playing catch with George Stephanopolous, and tending to their chores. Clinton says he expects the same carefree lifestyle to hold together through the upcoming House and Senate elections, although he stressed that neither Dole nor Gingrich would be allowed to campaign unless their report cards were good and their homework was done.
Speaking at an informal gathering, Clinton also dispelled rumors that the boys didn't get along with their adopted sister Chelsea. 'They get along just fine,' Clinton claimed. 'Sure, Newt gets rowdy sometimes, but once he realizes that she's sorta like his cousin, he'll treat her like all Southern boys treat their cousins--real nice.'
