MELVIN Front Page News    June 12 - June 25

prepare to listen to logic. Yours is the voice of the Enemy, and it is all Your fault. I am incapable of envisioning anyone else's point of view, and could not care less about Your feeble excuses. A sane man would accept responsibility for his actions. I would rather blame You, and exact my rightful vengeance on You and Your Kind at the earliest opportunity.

Do You have a family? They too shall die, but not until they have witnessed Your slow, twitching death. Don't plead for their lives -- my vengeance demands blood! Only if they were strangers to You would they survive, but they know You, so their deaths are on Your hands.

I will kill You as easily as others squash a bug, for that all Your life means to me. Yes, killing You will be easy, even thought I have never previously taken the life of any mammal. I am gentle, but fearsome when aroused. I slapped my Aunt once, so terrible was my wrath, though that is nothing compared to what I have planned for You.

Do not expect pity for Your death, for it will be Your fault. Why else would You allow a person like me to purchase a gun? I am a lunatic, and yet high-caliber weapons bearing sufficient ammunition to slaughter a bus load of Shriners was easier to obtain than a plastic bag of third-rate dope, which You also allow. Do you wish to die? I may kill many others on my way to killing You. This too will be Your fault.

You could stop me, but instead, You sell me fertilizer and fuel oil by the ton. Why? I don't know. Why do You pollute the streams or erode the soil? I cannot fathom Your Satanic ways. I can merely end Your life, and stop Your ceaseless torment of me. Last week, You turned off my cable during the playoffs. Damn You.

Damn You all.