Twentieth Century Fox
Starring Meg Ryan, Kevin Kline, Timothy Hutton and a sizzlin' French babe,
French Kiss tries to prove once and for all that, even on the international frontier,
American ways and Puritanical style of living are the best damn ways to live in
the world. Meg Ryan's character flips when her fiancé (Timothy Hutton) runs off
with a purring French kitten while he's on a business trip in Paris. Never fear that
the French are a generally rude lot of people, awash in their own ill-smelling
tobacco musk and underdeveloped moral standards: Our own cultural rep (Ryan)
kicked their butts right with American style and vigor. Her ex-fiancé ends up
playing the fool--after all, he defected to the other side. While Kevin Kline is the
overwhelming saving grace of this film, it still isn't worth the price of popcorn.
Amazing Movie Chain: Kevin Kline--Sophie's Choice--Meryl Streep--Ironweed--
Jack Nicholson--Easy Rider--Dennis Hopper--Apocolypse Now--Harrison Ford--
STAR WARS--Obi Wan Kenobi
Hollywood
With all the intensity of War Games meets Hunt For Red October, Denzel
Washington and Gene Hackman go ideologically head-to- head on a nuclear
arms fitted submarine while awaiting the sign to launch at those awful Ruskies.
Although Crimson Tide is full of mutiny, torpedo scares, and
mood-enhancing red lights, MELVIN Operatives received their biggest
thrill out of a few brief scenes containing 80's icon Ricky "just Rick
now that I'm trying to be a serious actor" Schroeder. Succeeding at
hitting its obviously middle-age, white male intellectual target
audience, Crimson Tide is undeniably suspenseful and well
done, especially if you're credulous enough to think that the film
might actually end in world-wide nuclear war. If the fact that there
was only one possible ending for the movie disturbs you, a few other
irritants might include leftover Cold War stereotypes and a distracting
scene in which the actors draw attention to race differences by using a
stupid horse metaphor.
Amazing Movie Chain: Gene Hackman--Postcards from the Edge--Dennis
Quaid--Innerspace--Meg Ryan--When Harry Met Sally--Carrie Fisher--
STAR WARS--Obi Wan Kenobi
Stranger than fiction, The Basketball Diaries is a top-notch
flick that relates the tall tale of poet, lousy rock musician, and New
York junkie Jim Carroll's adolescent escapades. Remarkably still alive
(even has a brief but zesty cameo in this film), Carroll managed to do
more drug experimenting before eighteen than most proud users
accomplish their whole lives. Hollywood flavor-of-the-month Leonardo
DiCaprio twinkles as Carroll, with the help from the likes of Marky
(now just plain Mark, if you please) Wahlberg, Bruno Kirby, Lorraine
Braco, Ernie Hudson, and Juliette Lewis. DiCaprio proves that
What's Eating Gilbert Grape was no flook, and Marky Mark
reveals there's more to him than a washboard stomach and an uncanny
ability to rhyme. MELVIN Disclaimer: No matter how compelling we think
it is, The Basketball Diaries is not for the stodgy. If you
can't think of more than two synonyms for heroine, you may want to see
While You Were Sleeping.
Amazing Movie Chain: Juliette Lewis--Cape Fear--Robert De
Niro--Backdraft--Donald Sutherland--A Dry White Season--
Marlon Brando--Apocolypse Now--Harrison Ford--STAR WARS--
Obi Won Kenobi
Castle Rock Entertainment
Unforgettably scripted, Forget Paris revolves around a dinner
party throughout which the uncharismatic love story of Billy Crystal
and Debra Winger is told by their obnoxious friends. Obviously, no one
told Billy Crystal that the world was looking to this film to medicate
the oozing sore that is his career because Forget Paris is no
more than another When Harry Met Sally rip-off that doesn't
even accomplish the primary goal of romantic slop-fests: making the
dateless masses feel miserable and inadequate. However, members of the
menopausal, romantic-comedy-lovin' target audience that surrounded
MELVIN Operatives at every turn sure did think that Billy Crystal's
weary one-man-show routines were a hoot.
Amazing Movie Chain: Billy Crystal--When Harry Met Sally--Carrie Fisher--STAR
WARS--Obi Wan Kenobi
Hollywood Pictures
Aficionados of pop culture agree: Die Hard, the first movie in
this trilogy, has all the gusto of a masterpiece. Granting this,
discussion can now begin about the wretched, floundering mess of
imbecility known as Die Hard With A Vengeance. Apparently,
production of the third installment of the Die Hard trilogy
was loosely patrolled. The movie is too long, the action is laughably
unbelievable, the one-liners are all one line too long, and those
bastards even made Bruce Willis do all this trite cowboy crap. There is
no excuse for this movie, with the exception of pure unadulterated
greed. Come to think of it, that's a pretty good reason. Note:
In spite of the poor quality of this film, we eagerly await the coming
of Star Wars IV--Full Throttle, coming next fall.
Amazing Movie Chain: Samuel L. Jackson--Jurassic Park>--Laura
Dern--Blue Velvet--Dennis Hopper--Apocalypse Now--Harrison Ford--
STAR WARS--Obi Wan Kenobi
